In today’s economy it’s not often you have the opportunity to apply for a job. Most companies aren’t excepting applications, let alone hiring. I’ve always prided myself as a expert when it comes to resumes and job applications, therefore I’ll show you a copy of a application I filled out yesterday for a very high paid executive job, and maybe it will help you with your job hunt.

• Name: Daniel, but all my friends call me lil bo bo the dutchess.
• Cell Phone Number: Fuck ass T Mobile turned it off, but I’ma bout to borrow some cash money from my grandma so I’ma be straight.
• Email Address: RobbinNKillenYou22121@yahoo.com
• Sex: iight, but I don’t blow my phone up when I’m done giving you that good love.
• Position Desired: Whatever you got. I ain’t picky…but don’t be stingy on a nigga. Feel me?
• Qualifications: I’m crazy good with people…especially with bitches. I ain’t met a bitch that wasn’t trying to fuck a nigga. You know what I’m saying? I’m also great with computers. I can disconnect it, erase the serial numbers, and have it sold within the hour.
• Past Employers: Some punk ass haters. If you see em tell em I’m gonna shoot him…straight up…shot…dead.
• Have you ever been convicted of a felony: You calling me a bitch?
• What attracts you to this job: I ain’t even gonna front, I saw a fine piece of chocolate cake grillin the shit out of me. You think I could get her number?
• Salary Expected: Nigga, Jordan’s ain’t free.
• Thoughts, Questions, Concerns: Ain’t I wrote enough?
• Availability: Tuesday’s at 9:30pm.

I hope this will be able to be a positive starting point for your job applications. If your wondering…I did not receive them job yet, but they did say if after my probation is up I am still interested, I can reapply under court supervision.