What’s the best kind of music? Free music.

In appreciation for your continued support of my sometimes hilarious little blog I’m going to start uploading full albums every month for you to download completely FREE! The links will not work forever, as ‘the man’ will catch on and delete them (If it’s been deleted, leave a comment and I’ll re-upload it). So if you want it download them ASAP.

Pitbull – Rebelution

1. Triumph (feat. Avery Storm)
2. Shut It Down (feat. Akon)
3. I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)
4. Girls
5. Full Of Shit (feat. Nayer & Bass III Euro)
6. Dope Ball (Interlude)
7. Can’t Stop Me Now
8. Hotel Room Service
9. Juice Box
10. Call Of The Wild
11. Krazy (feat. Lil Jon)
12. Give Them What They Ask For
13. Across The World Pitbull (feat. B.O.B.)
14. Daddy’s Little Girl (feat. Slim)

http://www.mediafire.com/?ytywkjyu22z

I’m old. I’m a very old, brittle man. I’m losing hair. I slouch when I walk. I’ve been eating dinner at 4:00pm and I spend most of my time showing my friends pictures of my grandchildren (Obviously I don’t have grandchildren. I just show my friends the pictures of the little kids that come in picture frames. Works every time). Three months ago I realized my hairline was receding. Two weeks ago I found my first grey hair in my left side burn. This morning I bought a Cadillac and a time share in Boca. I’m seeing all the signs that I’m getting older and I’m not too happy about it.

I guess my real issue with aging is that I’m not rich yet. I don’t mind getting old, as long as I’m old and rich (when you’re rich you’ll always feel young because of the teenage girls you pay to feed and massage you). Huge Hefner is like 600, but he feels 15. What’s age when you can drive around in a Ferrari and buy a country filled with little tribesmen? I figure for every million in the bank you feel 3-5 years younger. I want to feel 16 again. That way when Chris Hanson walks out of the kitchen with a bunch of cameras and informs me I am on Dateline: How To Catch A Predator, I can just tell him I’m super rich and am only 16 in money. That works, right?

My other issue with aging has to do with being Jewish. Being Jewish is great. My mother overfeeds me, I have a natural sense of business and comedy, and I’m neurotically neurotic. It’s all gravy…until you’re THIRTY. That’s when it ALL changes.

Jews age worse than anyone. It’s a fact! A thirty year old Jew looks like a 70 year old gentile (Hebrew word for anyone not Jewish). Did you know Woody Allen is only 33? Jerry Seinfeld is only 26. Steven Spielberg is 35. Every seen Carlos Santana? He’s not Jewish. He’s 70 and Spanish, but he looks like a 18 year old Cuban baseball player. Last year I hired a black guy to move furniture from my place. He was the biggest person I’ve ever talked to. When I asked him how long hes been working out he said 50 years. I assumed it was a joke and laughed. He starred at me as he said he was 63. He looked 31(he did later inform me he was in jail for murder for 28 years and thought it helped keep him young…maybe we should just send celebs to jail instead of day spas)? Point is, everyone wonders why Jews have money, it’s because we need it! We’re in the same boat as everyone else until the human clock strikes 30. At that point we better own a restaurant or be CEO of a major financial firm, because if not it’s straight to the old folks home. We have the same shot as everyone else to pick up hot girls when we’re young, but that bank better be fat once we are. Nobody wants to wake up next to a bald, overweight Jew, cracking jokes and eating Matzah…in less they’re in a mansion. Maybe next time you see your Jewish friends picking up pennies you’ll understand why.

Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. 22 sounds so much better.

I found my second grey hair this morning,

Daniel Dickey

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a couple day, I have been working on some new sites I just purchased. They should be pretty gangsta, and you’ll for sure want to get jiggy with them. BUT I did just write a verse for a musical I’m working on, about a evil Baker that tries killing all the towns people with the food he bakes. Here’s his opening verse.

I’m just a baker, just a very evil baker/

I cook cakes, I cook pies, I’m the devils cookie maker/

I put poison in brownies, I put poison in the bread/

I put poison in everything, just to that insure you are dead/

There’s acid in the crumpets, and toxins in the tarts/

When the poison hits your blood, it will surely stop your heart/

The venom in my pies, have a wonderful disguise/

It taste just like syrup, but will burnt out both your eyes/

I put infections in the yeast, so please enjoy the feast/

I won’t stop until you’re buried, very dead you are deceased/

I dream to kill them all, brothers sisters mothers cousins/

I’ve killed thirteen in one night, oh it was a bakers dozen/

Dark, deep, and black, is how I see my mood/

Death, dead, and murder, the only ingredients in my food/

Cause I’m hungry for dessert, and death is always something sweet/