How To Tell Your Mother You’re Pregnant

It’s 6:30 in the morning. Unable to sleep, I reach for my phone and call my mother. Mom: (barely enunciating) Hello? Me: Mom! Mom: Huh? Me: Mom wake up! Mom: (very groggy) I’m up. What time is it? Is everything ok? Me: No. (In a whisper) I’m pregnant. Mom: (still might be sleeping) What? What…
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Free Cookies In New York

Forget the girl scouts. Those little suburban tramps can rock for all I cre. Why? Because I was out in Times Square with my wittiest, most wonderful coworkers, giving out more FREE COOKIES. Though it was an overall good time, I don’t think I’ll ever go to Times Square again. Mostly because it’s filled with…
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