Funny Hilarious Pictures and Photos,Humorist blog,funny ugly people pictures,Stephanie Iscovitz,early signs of going bald

Why I Study Every Day

by admin on February 27, 2012

So blog based giggles have become spread out and I apologize. I’m currently taking six college courses and my life is nothing but reading, writing and studying poems from the late 17th century. Given, I enjoy all the reading and writing (minus some of the poems) but by the time I’m done, the last thing I want to do is write more. Even when the writing consists of me describing my awkward attempts to woo fat girls at my neighborhood Applebees. My brain is fried.

Last week I spent five ten-hour shifts in the library. I say shifts, because studying is my only job. One that doesn’t pay well–by “well” I mean, it pays nothing–actually I pay to do it. I paid a college to studying 50 hours last week and still I’m coming back for more. I must. As enriching my mind with literature, poems and prose is the only way to further my future in writing. It forces me to keep focused. I could keep blogging, but after three years I still haven’t landed that book deal that Julia from Julia and Julia landed in a couple of months.

I knew I should have started a French cooking blog. What was I thinking with this comedy nonsense?

{ 0 comments }

This was originally published by the Sun Sentinel.

With budget cuts close enough to kiss, forgive me for my prudence.

As a current student, I’m both embarrassed and outraged knowing that our senators would push to limit Florida’s intellectual progression. By cutting collegiate budgets you seriously sever the opportunities, growth and gains of our union. We whimper with each state that surpasses us scholastically, yet we jump at the opportunity to impede our own academic advancements. A deficit in our education is a deficit in our community. Higher learning is the ladder to a better future and those who threaten it, do so without regard for our state’s well-being.

Florida is more than sun, fun and Disney financed fairy tales. We’re the 20th largest GDP in the world. As a single state we surpass the economies of entire nations; and it’s only more reason to reinvest in our sustenance. Don’t allow migrant working orange farms to be the symbol of our future, instead boast on our intellect and empower intelligence to triumph and flourish in all of Florida. Let the minds of our youth be the fruit that feeds our economy.

Though young, I will not remain muted to injustice and public overspending for private fiscal gains. Stop crippling our schools and start starving out the political gluttony that originally led our budget to falter. Greed should bear the weight of our financial deficit, not education. An investment in academics is one that pays dividends.

Senators I plead to you, do not cut the hand that holds forthcoming success. But hold that hand for a moment and let it lead our state to prosperity. You’ve made a commitment to better our economy and we’re expecting you to do so. The path to economic progress is through education–there are no shortcuts–don’t let there be budget cuts.

{ 0 comments }

When I heard Chris Brown was performing at the Grammys, I was just as bothered as everyone else that refuses to let a new hit album cover up domestic violence. I understand that people make mistakes–I’ve made plenty. But I haven’t told anyone–other than my penis–”I’m going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!”

Chris Brown you deserve a second chance as much as Jerry Sandusky deserves a job at a daycare. To those that have a different opinion about #TeamBreezy, read the report below and let me know if it changes your mind.

Court documents released Thursday revealed details about the case against Chris Brown, including a police statement that the incident began when Rihanna (real name: Robyn Rihanna Fenty) found a text message on Brown’s cell phone from “a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.”

A search warrant used by police to obtain cell-phone records related to the case included the sworn statement by Los Angeles Police Detective DeShon Andrews in which he detailed what allegedly happened in the early morning hours of February 8.

“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

“A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the sh– out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’ ”

The detective said “Robyn F.” then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant Jennifer Rosales, who did not answer.

“Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, ‘I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.’

“After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’

“Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.

“Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps (sic) that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.

“Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant, Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.

“Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.

“Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June Street and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.

“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

“She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.

“Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order.”

At the end of his statement, Andrews said Brown sent a text message nine days later apologizing.

“In the text message, Brown apologized for what he had done to Robyn F. and advised [Rihanna's assistant] Ford that he was going to get help.”

{ 1 comment }

Some times you’re on. Some times you’re off. Specifically the rail she is was sitting on.

chick-falling-off-a-rail, funny pictures, lol women tripping, hilarious wedding pictures

{ 0 comments }

The Funniest Tweets About The 2012 Grammy Awards

by admin on February 12, 2012

I’m live tweeting (I feel like that’s something only Ryan Seacrest should say) instead of doing my homework. But whatever, any chance to make fun of people richer and better looking than me is one I’ll take. These are my most retweeted statuses.

  • Six months ago Adele lost her voice, but by the looks of things she kept her appetite.
  • Chris Brown’s performance was a hit #ThingsRihannaSays
  • Why’s Nicki Minaj dressed up like Hairy Potter? It looks like someone cast a spell on her hair.
  • Unfortunately Kanye West couldn’t be here tonight–as per the restraining order Taylor Swift has out against him.
  • It looks like Kelly Clarkson and Adele shop at the same buffet.
  • Stevie Wonder and Mario Manningham both presented awards with glasses on. Stevie Wonder did it because he sees black. Mario Manningham did it because he is black.
  • Yesterday Whitney Houston died, but 10 minutes ago Nicki Minaj killed her career.

The Funniest Tweets About Celebrities, Nicki Minaj Grammy Performance fail, The funniest twitterers, funny grammy tweets

Please note that despite what I said about Adele, I think she is beautiful and wonderfully talented. Oh and Kelly Clarkson seems nice.

Follow me on twitter here <———————

{ 0 comments }