It’s January 1st, 2009 and all is the same as yesterday…or is it? Could today be the new beginning I’ve waited all year for? Probably not. Does a new year mean my long criminal record for indecent exposure has been wiped clean? Don’t think so. Will my unsatisfactory jaw line be replaced with Ryan Reynold’s? I’ll pray. But there is one thing a new year is always good for, A New Years Resolution List.
My New Years Resolutions
- Start walking a with a cane.
- Quit taping cockroaches to my roommates toothbrush’s and shrugging my shoulders when they ask me how it got there.
- Finish building my fleet of pirate ships.
- Start recording my Latin Dance Cd.
- Have a kid, name him Loser, put him up for adoption, sit back and laugh.
- Start a charity to help the less fortunate.
- Stop pretending like I started a charity for the less fortunate just to impress my readers.
- Get rid of binoculars and buy telescope to watch people as they sleep.
- Stop poking myself on Facebook.
- Quit telling my anorexic best friend she would look so much prettier if she just lost a couple more pounds.
- Wow I’m going to be so busy this year.
As you can see I got a lot on my plate. Knowing me I’ll probably have all of it done by tomorrow.
- Stop lying about how long it takes me to finish things.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
My are pretty much the same lol.
love your blog