In the four years I’ve owned and operated this laptop it has been a witness to many momentous events in my life. It was there when I checked my grades and realized I received my first straight A report card…IN MY LIFE! It was there when I read that email from that black girl in Oregon who said the blood test confirmed I was the Father of her baby, and then it also played a huge helping hand in deleting and blocking her email address (She is now registered under the spam category). It was even there all those nights I fell asleep to gay porn (It pretends like it doesn’t like it, but always saves it in it’s favorites). It reads everything I write and even helps with the spelling. We watch movies together, stalk celebrities, and even make fake email accounts to spread humorous lies about people.
My Dell Inspiron 6000 laptop was born on July 21, 2005 at 5.65 pounds. It’s mother (A VCR) and it’s father (A Toaster Oven) couldn’t of been more delighted. But not as delighted as me when I stole their baby for my own greedy use of the Internet. It’s been everything I could ever want. There was one flaw though, it’s little friend “Battery Charger”. It was just an extra perk for the first couple of months, but then I saw it’s true colors. That little twerp has succeeded on multiple occasions at ruining my life, one document at a time.
I have lost emails, programs, documents, downloads, music, and who else know because of the Chinese made crap box Dell included with my computer. Not to be mistaken, I enjoy my computer, not because of it’s crafty and well thought out creation (There isn’t any), but because it’s been my Internet friendly helper thorough out the years. I must make it absolutely clear I have bought and gone through five Dell chargers…all of which cost upwards of $100 each. They are defective and all break in the same location. In the hundreds I’ve spent on replacing this I could of purchased a Mac. I would love to ramble on, but must make this blog short as my battery is dieing and will need to save this before losing another document.
All in all a laptop can be a friend, a companion, and even a sexual partner if you are into electronic devices (I once had a friend who dated a ipod Nano for 6 months. They ended up breaking up, he said she had space issues). But my next computer will defiantly be a Mac because Dell’s suck Donkey Dick.
Daniel Dickey
No related posts.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
brilliant.
You got that right! I love how you end all the blogs.
LOLOLOLOLOL
LOLOLOLOLOLOL