So I’m drunk…surprise surprise. Last night I came home to boxes and bags packed to the brim with all of my ex girlfriend’s belongings. I laid in bed for hours. She didn’t come home. I left at 8 in the morning to MC a wedding (Let me tell you how happy I was for them). I got home around 7pm…everything was gone.
It’s funny, I remember how I used to complain that the full size Ikea mattress Stephanie and I would share was much to small for two people. Well I’ll tell you what, last night as I slept in it alone, staring at my half empty closet, I began to realize that without her laying next to me there was much to much room for me to be comfortable. I remember when we first talked about moving to New York together, I was so excited thinking that every night I came home she would be there. I couldn’t wait to wake up next to her everyday. I imagined making her waffles naked while she danced around the house singing Matt Costa songs. I wanted to smell her morning breath and gag at her farts. I wanted to pick out furniture and fight about the color of our sheets. I wanted to be there while she did her hair for our dates and I couldn’t wait till I took off whatever it was she was wearing after we got back. I know everything about her. I know what she dreams of, I know what her deepest secrets are, I know what makes her smile, I know how her heart beats….and she’s no longer in my life.
Five people live in my apartment…excuse me, Stephanie left. Four people live in my apartment and not one of them are here right now. It’s raining and the sky is as grey as could be. It’s completely silent and I’ve been back and forth between crying and laughing. I laugh because I’m thinking of all the great times we shared together. I cry because I never thought they would end. I remember telling one of my roommates that my goals and future was the most important things to me, and no matter what a relationship could only be just as important until I reached and fulfilled them. Well after sitting in a lonely apartment without experiencing the love you desire from another my goals could choke on a cow’s dick, cause all I want is Stephanie back in my life.
I’m going out. Not sure where. Like I am now, I’ll be listening to Brett Dennen in my iPod if you want to join me.
Finding myself,
Daniel Dickey
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
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damn my nigg dick i aint kno shit went down lik that daddy, but u already know you gotta go through the storm to see the sunshine pop, maybe this was supposed to happen? fuel to your fire make u a stronger man with more desire to reach your goals? failing forward- john maxwell pik it up madd inspiration maybe then youll stop sounding like a homosexual male.
SIDENOTE: where yo nuts at dick?
i feel for you very much. she should read these n feel so stupid. but that above is pure poetry to me.
I live in Manhattan and I’d love to take you out. Facebook me well go get some drinks.
Ashely is Most probably a dude named Asher…fucking creepy.
Yeah, there’s a good chance Ashley is a man… And ‘Big J’ at the time of me writing this I wasn’t quite sure where my nutsack was. Thankfully I have since found it and it’s just as handsome as it was before…if not better.
where’s the jokes foooooooool!!! if u wanna cry….CRY FUNNY!!!!! If not change this to a hallmark website BIATCH!!!!!
mucho love though
damn dick that was some real shit right there, im glad u found it and i was wondering if you could take a snap shot of it, so whenever you sound like a homosexual male, u can look at the pic and remind yourself your a strong man.
TILL then love u
after watching your Tue Life episode for the billionth time tonight, I changed my Facebook status to, “I wonder if Stephanie & Dayy are still together…” So weird this happened to you guys 4 days ago. Good luck with everything… Go get her back.
I meant D-a-n-n-y… Apparently I can’t smoke, drink orange soda and type at the same time.
I hope you get over this soon…I’d like to be able to come and laugh hysterically like I used to…depression is not good for my unborn child! 2 years is a long time to have been with someone, and it’ll probably take time for you to feel better. My suggestion for the empty bed is get a firm body pillow or a REALLY big teddy bear to cuddle up with until you randomly meet the one who’s REALLY the one and you realize that you haven’t cried in a REALLY long time (yes I know all the caps on the REALLYs are unnecessary but it’s a theme). Feel better soon! (ps- I dunno if you’re into it, but I’ll do a Tarot card reading for you if you want, see what comes up…email me if you want one…till then I’ll try to click enough adds to get you a body pillow)
this is heart breaking…ironically you can also be married…living with the love of your life…and have the same exact feelings….BE TOUGH!