Why is it when you’re in a relationship all the sexy bitches wanna squeeze your ass, but the second you’re single you can’t even see some titties? I’ve been sexing up this little hottie for a couple years, but I cant help but notice all these fine Asian girls in New York. When I was single I couldn’t find one chinkie eye, but now that I have a girlfriend it’s nothing but fine little egg rolls walking the street. I toyed with the idea of telling my girlfriend we should break up for a couple hours so I could try Kung Pow Chicken and see what all the talk is about…but that didn’t go over to well with my baby momma. She said something of the sort “What? What the fuck did you say you asshole? Go fuck an Asian girl and watch me kill you both while you’re sleeping. Think I’m joking? I’ll fucking kill you.” I have since decided not to break up with her despite my strong cravings for Lo Mein…but she has met me in the middle, and lets me glue her eyes sideways when we’re having sex.
(I must admit, I did date an Asian girl once, and it was pretty sweet. A major perk was after every blowjob I would get a fortune cookie. But the best part of the relationship would be when I would beat her with bamboo stick till she finished cooking my dinner (the way she would lay on the ground and pretend like her eyes were bleeding was so cute). We dated for a couple months, but it didn’t last. I ended up trading her to some 11 year old for a Sony PlayStation. Dumb kid didn’t realize she was already 12 (Four years past her prime). You know what I’m talking about Woody Allen).
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Dude you crack me up! I could totally see you in a Judd Apatow movie!
I saw you on MTV true Life summer romance today…good stuff.
This made me LMFAO. I was choking I was laughing so hard.
This blog needs to be published in a book.