So after working an 11 hour shift at work, I decided to pamper myself with Papa John’s pizza, strawberry milk and a movie (I recently hacked my roommate’s netflix account and the opportunity to watch a limitless amount of movies on my laptop has kept me as happy as a pedophile at a summer camp). Unfortunately for me, I watched one of the most terribly tragic and sad movies in modern American cinema… I watched Julie and Julia. Why so sad you ask? Well, asides from the the seven second scene with Amy Adams in underwear, all I could think about was that this little New York blogger got a book deal out of cooking french toast and chicken feet! And though I was pleased/mildly motivated by her success, it caused me to reflect on what my blog has brought me.
The answer: After almost two years of devotion and comedic commitment… One fan from San Fransisco emails me nude pictures of HIMself on a weekly basis (since I can’t afford to lose any readers, I always email back with comments such as, “oh I like what you’ve done with your pubes.” and “wow that tattoo is, um, well, who wouldn’t want a tattoo of Robin Williams on their dick?”). A reader from London donated 65 cents to my paypal account with a attached message that read, “This is worth twice as much in my county, you fat American.” Five weeks ago, as the euro was at it’s lowest point in almost a decade, I returned his 65 cents and asked him, “Hey how much is your 65 cents worth now? Suck on that. Hugs and kisses from a fat American.” And last but surely not least, the New York Police Department threatened to have me put in jail if they see, www.DanielDickey.com <—– Funny, in one more subway station (as I explained to the NYPD, I’m not the one doing, but do appreciate the publicity).
That’s it. No book deal. No write up in the Times. No literary agent. No movie. No groupies. I guess I’ll make some more strawberry milk.
If you enjoy my blog, tell a friend… hopefully one that is in publishing,
Daniel Dickey
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don’t give up. you are far too talented. plus your posts make me laugh lol
Thank you… let’s hope a publisher feels the same.
I read your blog for the first time a couple months ago and have read it everyday since. It’s super funny.
Well of course you wouldn’t admit to a misdemeanor- so who is putting up your “danieldickey <–funny" tags? I have even seen them 'defended' after being x'd out or defaced.
I have a hard time believing that a tagger would risk arrest promoting someone else.
So, how about you do us a favor and clean them up? That would allay any suspicions and stop my annoyance having to see the garbage all over NY.
Good luck, otherwise.
HA @ “I have even seen them ‘defended’ after being x’d out or defaced.”
Seriously man! when does your book come out?
your blog is fantastic. i have hearty laughs while reading each entry (i just found you today, thanks to a post over on jezebel). i would buy your book. xo
you’ll make it, you’re too funny. keep the hope alive brotha.
groupie,
randi
love your blog. funny stuff.
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