Note: If the following rant comes across like a whiny girl riding the rag, it’s because I am a whiny girl riding the rag.
I want what I want when I want it. We all do. The thing is I almost always get what I want. Not because I’m a little vag, but because if I truly want something, I will focus all of my attention and energy to obtain it. So when I do devote my time and effort in hopes of acquiring something and I don’t get it, I tend to get really frustrated. For example,
- Last week I really wanted an everything bagel. I went to two different bagel stores and neither had one. When I got to the third bagel store, an eight block walk from the second bagel store, and they said they didn’t have one, I got so mad that I crumpled a paper napkin and then threw it into a recycling bin really hard.
- When I was eight I wanted this monster sized Nerf gun more than anything in the world (I saved up my Chanukah and birthday money in order to buy it). My mom was ’supposed’ to take me to Toys R Us the day after my birthday. Well a tropical storm hit South Florida that day and she felt it wouldn’t be safe to drive. I ran to the top of the stairs and told her I would throw myself down the stairs if we didn’t go. Again she said it was raining too hard to go. I threw myself over the banister and broke my wrist and one of my ribs just to prove a point.
Sometimes I get what I want and I realize I really don’t like it (This happens with girls more than anything). That Nerf gun that cost me $49, a broken ankle, and a broken rib ended up being way cooler in the commercial than real life…but the point is I got it and was then able to decide whether or not I truly liked it. I don’t want not getting something to ever be a deciding factor (that’s when I start flailing my arms around and throw empty soda cans at people).
Of course I’m thankful everyone doesn’t always get what they want (Hitler, Hussein, and an acting career for Mariah Carey) but I don’t have any desire to cause harm to others…whether it be by genocide or a terrible performance in a movie. I want to get my way when it comes to things like getting an everything bagel rather than a stupid onion bagel. I want a Nerf gun the day it was promised to me because I’ve been waiting all year to shoot my sister in the face with it. But what I really want…I want the god damn corner store to be open right now because I NEED SOME COOKIES!! It’s my day off and if I don’t get some cookies in the next half an hour I’m going to starting breaking things (this is not a joke. I need at least 20 cookies immediately or I’m going to start raising hell)!!
I am the cookie monster and I’m feening,
Daniel Dickey
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m laughing at this a few yards away from you right now.
Where are you lol?
Dude-what happened to the blog we discussed?!?!
Being the voluptuous woman that I am, I know this feeling all to well. Then again, I would just get up and bake myself some fresh cookies… they are much better than store bought (which aren’t warm, super soft, and don’t melt in your mouth). I was actually thinking of making a big batch of my chocolate chip cookies and sending them out to some people for the holidays (like I used to do for my [ex] Navy boyfriend). Maybe you could be one of the lucky ones this year… but you’ll have to keep an eye on my status updates to win. Good Luck! >;o)
Being the voluptuous woman that I am, I know this feeling all to well. Then again, I would just get up and bake myself some fresh cookies… they are much better than store bought (which aren’t warm, super soft, and don’t melt in your mouth). I was actually thinking of making a big batch of my chocolate chip cookies and sending them out to some people for the holidays (like I used to do for my [ex] Navy boyfriend). Maybe you could be one of the lucky ones this year… but you’ll have to keep an eye on my status updates to win. Good Luck! >;o)
J…it’s coming.
Margo, I ended up baking cookies and eating every single one. I have a serious problem.