Ok this is what’s happening,
My parents are out with family friends, they’ll be back any minute and I need your help. See I volunteer on my sister’s softball team (I’m 25 the girls are 15) and whatever, I met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes I help her with homework (I helped her with her English essay and she still got a D. It’s because her teacher is a prick). Anyways…
She came over like an hour ago, and I really wanted to lose my virginity, so I asked her to have sex. She said,”no no I cant, its not right”, but I told her, “don’t worry, I know what I’m doing, I’ll be done in like 10 seconds…plus I’ll give you two n64 games if you say yes.”
So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. She was a bit confused and scared. I start to think to myself, “yo I need lube, right?” Because I heard other people saying you need to lube up her vag otherwise it wont fit in properly.
I had no lube, but I really wanted to lose my virginity. So I grabbed some butter from the fridge, but it was cold and it wouldn’t melt, so I microwaved it for 8 minutes, put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter…well now shes saying I BURNED IT.
I don’t know what to do. My parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom. PLEASE HELP! You guys are really smart. Any idea how to shut her up? Should I give her another n64 game?
Freaking out!
Submitted by the always clever, Jatinder Channa.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Ahahahahaha!
Lololol I seriously wonder if that actually happened
Of course it did. It’s a true story.
lol. this is mega hilarious!!! this is why i <3 this website!!!!