Using animal dicks as a measuring tool for expressing the deep hurt one feels after a relationship ends, I will try my best to convey my current shituation.
Take the average break up. You like each other, but aren’t thinking about anything serious. You date casually, and most of the time enjoy each others company. You’re serious enough to meet each others parents, and willing to put up with each others flaws (Examples: His left armpit smells like a fish. She poops with the door open). Everything is ok until one minor slip up and then it’s over. Using an animal dick as measurement for the deep hurt these two people feel….it would be a similar to the dick of a small Coyote, or a very large hedgehog. Though those aren’t the biggest of dicks, breaking up sucks, and they will be upset for a couple weeks.
Take the more serious break up. You really like each other and are hoping the other one says I Love You. Your weekend plans are usually dictated by what the other person feels like doing, and you begin spending more time with them than your friends. You could see yourself with him or her for a while, but aren’t quite ready to tattoo there name on your lower back and/or upper thigh. Then something dumb happens and your break up. Using an animal dick as measurement for the deep hurt these two people feel….it would be similar to a fat Lion or a well endowed Tiger Shark. Those are decent sized dicks and the break up will be hard to get over. At least one month of crying like a young girl.
Take the break up of a serious relationship. The both of you love each other and can happily see each other together in the future. You have come to love the qualities in each other and their happiness brings you happiness. You have met their parents, and even meet his or her extended family members at holiday dinners. You can’t see yourself breaking up…until boom, she or he got fingered by the loser in her math class that was always trying to hit on him or her. Using an animal dick as measurement for the deep hurt these two people feel….it would be similar to largest dicked thoroughbred race Horse in the world or a really fucking tall Giraffe. This kind of break up sucks so much monster dick…you don’t even know. They will not be able to listen to any Boys to Men songs for at least three months without fainting.
Take my recent relationship recession (I was unexpectedly laid off, wasn’t offered a stimulus package, and escorted out of the building by two armed security guards. Days later I received a coffee mug that said, “Ben”. A couple days after that I received a letter saying, “Hey Danny, sorry about that. That was meant for Ben”. There was nothing more.) This was a relationship that excelled in all aspects. We enjoyed each others company, goals, dreams, personalities, physical attributes (Butts), and though it was never really brought up, we could both see a very happy, exciting, and successful future together. Every moment we spent together was exciting. There weren’t many troubling times, and if there were they only lasted for an hour, maybe 90 minutes. This was the relationship most people in relationships see and secretly think, “Damn son, I wish I had that”. Using an animal dick as measurement for the deep hurt I feel….it would be similar to a Dinosaur dick. The biggest fucking Dinosaur dick ever. Think of a Blue Whale dick and multiple it by 143,000. That’s the sized dick you would need to imagine to understand my current emotional state. How long does it take to get over that? Not sure. I’m on day two. But in my current situation I am trying to use the words of one of Americas most respected and acclaimed poets to help me through this, “Just Be A Gangster. A Real Deal Motherfucking Gangster – Eazy E”.
I am going to be a gangster. A real deal motherfucking gangster.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You gotta stop making GF blogs. That might be one way to get passed it.
Plus I personally know 3 vaginas that would love for you to fill them. Blog about that one.
dont be sad about your break up daniel.. im always here for you.. YOUR FUCKIN HOT. and a adorable.. call me!
Make that 4 vaginas