Fuck the girl scouts. Those little suburban tramps can suck it. Why? Because I was out in Times Square with my wittiest, most wonderful coworkers, giving out more FREE COOKIES.
Though it was an overall good time, I don’t think I’ll ever go to Times Square again. Mostly because it’s filled with weary tourist that are convinced Americans want to kill them. Therefore the cookies didn’t move as fast as they do when I’m at a park filled with stoner hippie teens and 40 year old Manhattanites that are all about going green and eating cookies from some random guy sitting on a bench. Also it was very cold and windy and one of the girls almost caught hypothermia.
It was a good time and even though we ate A LOT of the chocolate chip and Reese’s peanut butter cookies we did pass a couple hundred out to the hungry people of Times Square. As far as friends, Emily (on the left) made friends with a religious duo that tried, without success, to get her to join a cult that believes the Virgin Mary is Oprah, Julianne (obviously on the right) seemed much too busy eating cookies and staring at the odd foreigners to make friends, I made friends with everyone…the highlight being a crackhead pushing around a garbage pail filled with leaves and old shoes. She asked for a cookie and when I said, “of course”, she tried to stick her slimy frog hands into the jar…”WHOOOOAAA!!!! I’ll give them to you.”
Keep a look out for me…you never know when I might feel like getting my Rachel Ray on.
Daniel Dickey
Emily and Julianne thank you for coming out! If I ever become a billionaire I’ll buy you both some ice cream.
Also, if you want to come give out cookies with me…just holler.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I wanna do a cookie day with you!
Definately was not giving that crackhead a hand hug.
remember when we handed out cheesecake??!! and that ancient woman attacked our table?? that was a good day
LOL that was a good day HAHAHAHA