Daniel Dickey Dot Com

How the Republican Party is Screwing the American Middle Class

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:28:55 +0000

This article was originally published in the Sun Sentinel and then in the Hartford Courant.

As I dive deeper into the scandalous swamps of politics I’m often surprised at the misinformation dished out by small-minded, middle-income Americans. Many, if not most, are severely misguided on the primary concerns of the party they seem so proud to promote. Their attempts at political education consists of right-wing comics strips and five-minute Fox News updates. They don’t understand why the right vote isn’t always the right vote. They’ve been too brainwashed by, “if you don’t love us, you don’t love America,“ to question the consistency of their candidates. Wake up America.

If you’re making upwards of $250,000 and your sole concern is to pay the least amount of taxes, yes, it fiscally makes sense to vote republican. The cardinal concern of the republican party is to insure that the rich stay wealthy. That is, always has been and always will be the most important matter for the right-wing. It’s why major corporations–especially those that bring harm to society and the environment–offer so much financial support to republicans. Republicans in power want as much money as possible. That is it. But in that, lies an issue. Most families are not wealthy. They are teachers, laborers, civil servants and average income making Americans. So why would they ever vote for someone whose interest it is to help the rich and hinder the masses? Because campaign managers reminded those in charge that they can stop speaking on money and briefly address other issue that might gain support. Hence the involvement of strongly divided issues like abortion, gay marriage, immigration, defense spending, etc. What they have done is used ideologies to win over a larger audience. They swept their true motives under a carpet of religious values and American nationalism.

Mitt Romney’s net is worth upwards of 100 million dollars, Newt Gingrich’s net is worth almost 20 million dollars. You’re absolutely nuts if you think they have anything in common with you. Their wants and concerns will never run parallel with yours. They used popular ideologies to make themselves seem like you. 50 Cent voted for George Bush. Do you think a onetime drug dealer and son of a crackhead has anything other than money in common with the onetime owner of the Texas Rangers and son of the president? He wasn’t a republican before he was rich–hell, I’m not even sure he paid taxes before he was rich. He was a democrat and then after becoming a billionaire, became a republican. And in case you argue that equal religious beliefs brought them together–though 50 Cent is said it be Baptist and George Bush went from Episcopal to United Methodist –we’ll also use Louis Mayer, owner of MGM, or Adam Sandler. As Jews, it’s safe to assume their religious positions are not that of any conservative, Christian republican. What republican ideals might they endorse? Nothing. They vote republican, like other wealthy celebrities, because it makes the most financial sense. The same reason all of the 1% does–for money (note, I’m not saying that social issues don’t affect the decision, just that their finances are their chief concerns).

Another key to republicans past successes was due to them developing a middle class resentment towards the lower class. The middle class resented the poor because the poor received government handouts from hard-earned tax dollars. They then associated the poor with democrats and in attempts to climb the social ladder of suburbia, began trying to assimilate with republicans. What they forget is it was the affluent republican officials who proposed and passed those bills. Then once money is allocated to programs for the poor, the bulk of it goes to paying the republicans and their large board of executives that run such programs. Then whatever money might be left goes to paying the middle class workers who distribute the now drained funds to the poor. From there the cycle repeats with another issue.

I’m not a republican nor a democrat. I’m a free thinking, college student willing to speak on unaddressed issues in American politics. Middle class please stop digging your own grave with the corporate-sponsored shovel your republican representative handed you. Eventually you’ll be too deep to climb out and due to senate-sponsored budget cuts in social programs, the democrats won’t be able to afford a ladder to get you out.

With that said, I’m proud to vote for Barack Obama.

What do Financial Planners Do?

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:24:15 +0000

At 25 I don’t necessarily feel older, but old people things keep happening to me. Example: Today I got a call from a financial planner. That’s something that should happen to people with canes and dentures, not comedians. The planner–who sounded sixteen–was eager to speak to me about my money and what he could do with it. This was the short conversation that followed.

Fiance Boy: Hi Daniel, I got your number from a close friend of yours. And in a meeting this week she said that it would be smart if you and I meet each other.
Me: Meet in regards to what?
Fiance Boy: Well I’m a financial planner and would like to sit down, buy you a cup of coffee and talk about your finances.
Me: Though free coffee is tempting, I really don’t want to waste you time. What is it exactly you do?
Fiance Boy: Well, have you ever wanted to save more money? I could teach you how to do that.
Me: LOL man, I’m Jewish–my mother thought me how to do that.
Fiance Boy:What about stocks? Ever think about buying some Apple or Google.
Me: Yeah, they’re great stocks. I currently own both of them. I have long positions to take taxation from 30% to 15% and future stop and buy orders already preset.
Fiance Boy: Oh. What about retirement? A lot of people get lost when it comes to planning for that.
Me: I’m 25 and single; I’m not currently worried about retirement. But when that time comes, I’ll open a Roth IRA investment account, contribute the $5000 yearly limit and enjoy not paying capital gains when I take the money out at 59 and a 1/2. Hopefully I don’t get lost.
Fiance Boy: Wow, it seems like you really know what you’re doing.
Me: Yeah, well if you ever want to sit down and let me buy you a cup of coffee, I’d love to talk to you about your finances. You ever wanted to save more money? I could teach you how to do that.
Fiance Boy: LOL I’m Christian–my mother taught me how to do that.
Me: Yeah, but she learned from a Jew.
Fiance Boy: I don’t think so. What Jew?
Me: Jesus–he saves like crazy. At least that’s what the religious lady in my math class told me.

He laughed and I went back to eating my sandwich.

The Funniest Facebook Fail EVER!

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:23:23 +0000

Oh the wonderful things on the internet.

List For The 2012 Oscar Nominations

admin — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:40:57 +0000

Okay, normally I sick to just comedy, but here and there I post something that’s going to get my website a bunch of hits. Well turns out all of America wants to see who did the best job pretending to be someone else. And I’d like to capitalize on the high search volume. So in the exact order that I found on another website–which I plan to beat in SEO ranking–these are the nominees.

Complete list of 84th Annual Academy Award nominations announced Tuesday:

Best Picture: “The Artist,” ‘’The Descendants,” ‘’Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close,” ‘’The Help,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Midnight in Paris,” ‘’Moneyball,” ‘’The Tree of Life,” ‘’War Horse.”
Actor: Demian Bichir, “A Better Life”; George Clooney, “The Descendants”; Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”; Gary Oldman, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”; Brad Pitt, “Moneyball.”
Actress: Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”; Viola Davis, “The Help”; Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”; Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”; Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn.”
Supporting Actor: Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”; Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”; Nick Nolte, “Warrior”; Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”; Max von Sydow, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.”
Supporting Actress: Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”; Jessica Chastain, “The Help”; Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”; Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”; Octavia Spencer, “The Help.”
Directing: Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”; Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”; Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”; Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”; Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life.”
Foreign Language Film: “Bullhead,” Belgium; “Footnote,” Israel; “In Darkness,” Poland; “Monsieur Lazhar,” Canada; “A Separation,” Iran.
Adapted Screenplay: Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, “The Descendants”; John Logan, “Hugo”; George Clooney, Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon, “The Ides of March”; Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin and Stan Chervin, “Moneyball”; Bridget O’Connor and Peter Straughan, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.”
Original Screenplay: Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”; Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig, “Bridesmaids”; J.C. Chandor, “Margin Call”; Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”; Asghar Farhadi, “A Separation.”
Animated Feature Film: “A Cat in Paris”; “Chico & Rita”; “Kung Fu Panda 2”; “Puss in Boots”; “Rango.”
Art Direction: “The Artist,” ‘’Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Midnight in Paris,” ‘’War Horse.”
Cinematography: “The Artist,” ‘’The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’The Tree of Life,” ‘’War Horse.”
Sound Mixing: “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Moneyball,” ‘’Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” ‘’War Horse.”
Sound Editing: “Drive,” ‘’The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” ‘’War Horse.”
Original Score: “The Adventures of Tintin,” John Williams; “The Artist,” Ludovic Bource; “Hugo,” Howard Shore; “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,” Alberto Iglesias; “War Horse,” John Williams.
Original Song: “Man or Muppet” from “The Muppets,” Bret McKenzie; “Real in Rio” from “Rio,” Sergio Mendes, Carlinhos Brown and Siedah Garrett.
Costume: “Anonymous,” ‘’The Artist,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Jane Eyre,” ‘’W.E.”
Documentary Feature: “Hell and Back Again,” ‘’If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front,” ‘’Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory,” ‘’Pina,” ‘’Undefeated.”
Documentary (short subject): “The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement,” ‘’God Is the Bigger Elvis,” ‘’Incident in New Baghdad,” ‘’Saving Face,” ‘’The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom.”
Film Editing: “The Artist,” ‘’The Descendants,” ‘’The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Moneyball.”
Makeup: “Albert Nobbs,” ‘’Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2,” ‘’The Iron Lady.”
Animated Short Film: “Dimanche/Sunday,” ‘’The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore,” ‘’La Luna,” ‘’A Morning Stroll,” ‘’Wild Life.”
Live Action Short Film: “Pentecost,” ‘’Raju,” ‘’The Shore,” ‘’Time Freak,” ‘’Tuba Atlantic.”
Visual Effects: “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2,” ‘’Hugo,” ‘’Real Steel,” ‘’Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” ‘’Transformers: Dark of the Moon.”

Now back to my normal blogs,

Daniel Dickey

Why I Love Ice Cream More Than Anything in the World

admin — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:35:39 +0000

As I’ve begun to age into an adult I’ve attempted curb my cursing habits to almost nonexistent. Using vulgarity is the quickest way to lower you perceived social status and always a cheap way to express emotion. Don’t limit your ability to socially excel by using trashy verbiage–speak well and smile and people will assume you’re a handsome little devil with endless potential. With that said, some times it’s essential to use fowl language to convey a message.

I fucking love ice cream. That is a statement that requires the use of the offensive language. Mainly because I don’t love ice cream, I fucking love ice cream. There’s a big different. I love t-shirts, but if you showed up at my house wearing a sweater I’d be totally fine. I’d probably even be like, “hey cool sweater, man.” On the other hand, if you promised me ice cream and showed up with a bowl marshmallows I’d punch you square in the jaw. I’m not kidding, square in the fucking jaw (note the difference between loving and fucking loving). Adding the f-word emphasizes the noun like nothing else would. I could say, “I really love ice cream,” but I’m not a six-year-old girl, so that’s not an option. Besides, if a six-year-old girl honestly loved ice cream that much, she’d curse. She’d have to or else she’d be lying about how much she really cares about ice cream. Which would be hard to do, because when you fucking love ice cream, you can’t front. It’s easy to love things, but not fucking love them. I dated a girl for three years and didn’t even fucking love her. Don’t get me wrong, I thought she was cool, but I don’t throw the f-word around that carelessly.

Example: I love Cinnabons, but I don’t fuc–actually Cinnabons are a bad example–I fucking love those as well. They’re just so delicious. Pause for a second, if there’s a Cinnabon ice cream–which I’m googling right now to check–not even the f-word would suffice as an adjective. Update: there is a Cinnabon ice cream and I just sent out an email to my love-handles letting them know to make room for the sweet, slow-churned, vanilla swirls that are going to make their way down my mouth and into my already full pockets of fat.

I just re-read what I wrote and really don’t understand why I want to be this fat. I’ve been drooling for the last two paragraphs. I have an addiction to terrible foods and I’m not sure how to stop it. It’s not like I want to stop it. If I walked into a room to be surprised by an ice cream intervention, straight up, I’d walk out and then text message mean things to everyone that was there. I say things like, “ice scream at you for being so heartless!” I’d feel bad afterwards, but in the moment, I’d be furious. I don’t want anything to come in between me and my sweet cream.

It’s 2:00am and I’m blogging about cursing, ice cream and Cinnabons? The supermarket is closed so I’m leaving to get my fix at a gas station. I need to go to sleep.

Daniel Dickey

The First Camera Phone: Funny Photo Fails

admin — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:51:10 +0000

Bahahahahaha

Where to Travel and What to Do While in Costa Rica

admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 00:24:07 +0000

As with most of my trips last year, Costa Rica was sporadic and unplanned. By sporadic and unplanned I mean, Monday at 5:00pm I was watching Netflix and eating pudding pops–twelve hours later I had my bags packed and was headed to Miami International Airport. In less than half a day I finished a movie, ate six pudding pops and convinced two of my best friends to travel to central America with me. I’d say it was productive, but seeing that the movie I watched starred Nick Canon, I probably lose points.

My trip, short but amazing, consisted of this:

Day One: We flew into San Jose where we were quickly bombarded by a bunch of tanned taxi drivers promising to drive us into the city for twenty dollars. I said, “no gracias” and took the city bus for ninety cents (the city buses come often and are right in front of the airport). We ate the country’s traditional dish (casado) in an open breezy restaurant and then trekked around for several miles until we found our hostel (if you’re looking for traditional cuisine always avoid the restaurant filled with tourist. Odds are any restaurant filled with white people is the Fuddruckers of that county). That night we continued to gorge ourselves on local foods all while getting drunk on Imperial beer and shots of guaro (liquor made from sugar cane) for Sammy’s birthday (the initial reason for the trip).

Day Two: Up at 5:00am I could still smell beer on my breath. The hostel’s blankets ended up being crazy dusty so I spent the night sneezing–until I moved to a bed without blankets–where I then froze to death. We caught a 6:15am chicken bus from the Coca Cola bus station downtown and headed north to La Fortuna (the four hour trip only cost $3-$4. Don’t go with a private company, they’ll charge you upwards of $125). We walked to our hostel, checked for bed bugs and booked a tour to climb a volcano in Arenal. The tour included entrance to the hot springs after the climb, so an hour after swatting bugs and collecting volcanic rocks we were flying down water slides and lounging in steamy volcano water. I tried to get the girls to come with me to a bar afterwards, but they insisted on lying around and being girls. Oddly I adjusted to lying around like a girl quite easily.

Day Three: After a long night of one of the girls trying to convince us that we all needed to sleep in the same bed to ward off spiders, we were up at 7:00am to catch a ride to Monteverde (the land-boat-land for $18 was booked, so we took a city bus for $2-$3). It stops in Tilaran for two hours. Tilaran is a really small town and might have been the place they film The Hills Have Eyes, but we managed to survived, all while switching from Imperial beer to Pilsen–another local made brew (it tasted like Miller Lite with a Spanish accent). Tilaran was another two hours of farm land and mountains to Monteverde, but totally worth it. Instead of doing a tour that day we hiked around on our own and took pictures of a sloth hanging around on telephone wires. That night was in downtown Monteverde (downtown is two and a half streets) debating which restaurant to eat at and which ones to wish we ate at after we were already full. I think we drank wine after that.

Day Four: Like all days so far, we were up early and zip lining in the rainforest by 8:00am. If you’ve never zip lined, stop slacking and do it! Really, I enjoyed zip lining more than having sex with this girl–and that girl was hot. The climax was a quarter-mile zip line from one mountain, over a valley, to another mountain. Then you had the option to bungee jump on the Tarzan swing. I of course decided to bungee jump. And despite my yelling and baby-like crying, loved it. We drove back to our cabin (one of the girls thought we needed a night away from hostel bugs). The cabin had bigger bugs than any place we stayed on the trip (well, except for the five-inch grasshopper I found and saved at the airport). We hopped on another bus and started driving out of the mountain towards Liberia. Thirty minutes later our bus broke down. We waited for a second bus and ten minutes after getting on that bus, it too broke down. From there all I remember is smoking pot with some nine-year-old Costa Rican boys and waking up in a hotel four hours north of where our second bus broke down. There was only one bed–obviously another way to fend off spiders–and a bathroom with a window by the shower. I showered while looking out for peeing Tom’s. (In Spanish countries is it peeing Jaun’s?) And then the girls and I, tired from the last four 18-hour days, dressed and walked to the nicest Burger King we’ve ever seen in our lives and ate chicken tenders until our stomachs exploded.

Day Five: Awake at 4:35am we headed to the Liberia airport and thanked ourselves for going on a completely unplanned, but wildly wonderful vacation. Note this is also the day I saved the grasshopper.

I wanted to speak in-depth about all the hilarity that ensued while riding local chicken buses through the country side and bungee jumping into the rainforest, but I’m still too covered with mosquito bites to clear my mind. It’s one of those, “you had to be there moments.” And unfortunately you weren’t there, but you can always join me on my next trip. I’m thinking Thailand–and at least for two weeks.

Travel more. Getting lost is how you find yourself,

Daniel Dickey

The Funniest Video of Adolf Hitler Freaking Out on YouTube

admin — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:50:27 +0000

I’ve been making YouTube videos a lot lately. So if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel, please do so here.

First Pictures of Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Baby: Blue Ivy Carter

admin — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:42:19 +0000

On Saturday January 7th, Beyonce gave birth to Blue Ivy Carter. No, that is not a bar of soap. It’s a baby–named after a bar of soap. Originally they were going to name the child after Jay-Z’s aunt, Irish Spring Carter or Beyonce’s mother, Dial. But in a January 8th press release Jay-Z cleared things up by saying, “we named our daughter Blue Ivy because she’s so antibacterial.” It makes sense, the baby does look very clean. Especially here in her first photo ever taken.

She definitely has daddy’s eyes.

Bungee Jumping on the Tarzan Swing in Monteverde, Costa Rica

admin — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 05:25:21 +0000

You might recall me saying, “Whoa girl, I did some crazy things in Costa Rica!” Well, I wasn’t lying. For a week I lived on the edge–eating bugs, hunting sheep and eventually, bungee jumping. Unfortunately I don’t have any videos of the bug eating or the sheep hunting, but I did film the bungee jumping. Enjoy.