As Winter Approaches

It’s currently fifty six degrees in New York and I am freezing to death. I’m sitting on my TV in thermal underwear, a bear skin vest and have latex condoms on my hands (And seeing that they are Warming Pleasure condoms I think Trojan owes me my money back, cause they haven’t warmed me up at all). My Mom suggested that I make a list of important items to bring to New York before I moved. I know I put warm clothes on the list, but there wasn’t any room once I got everything else. Here’s the list.

Pack This For New York

• Hunting Spear
• Rocks
• Paper Air Planes
• Slaves
• Bubble Gum
• Green
• Hair
• Toilet Paper
• Warming Condoms (For The Winter)
• Four Kiss the Chef Aprons
• Extra Kiss the Chef Apron
• Bees
• The Army
• I don’t know anything else
• But if I write things here my
• Mom will think I packed everything
• I needed.
• Bear Skin Vest

So as you can see, asides from my hunting spear none of the items have come in helpful. I might not make it through the winter.