Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, so when I realized I’d be doing the bulk of the cooking this year, I got my apron out of the pantry and started preheating the oven.
See, this would be my first Thanksgiving without my family and though I was excited to lose my Thanksgiving virginity with a bunch of girls, I was pretty sure they had no idea what they were doing. Therefore I handled the most important part of the holiday, the turkey, stuffing, and wine. Without those three things being absolutely perfect the holiday would be terrible. I read cook books, studied ‘how to’ videos, and when I wasn’t masturbating to her, I payed close attention to all of Rachel Ray’s advice. I was going to make this a Thanksgiving to remember.
As you can see from the picture above, the food came out wonderful, AND the girls really did great with the green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes. Unfortunately it still WASN’T a Thanksgiving to remember…but only because I don’t actually remember anything other than waking up shirtless, next to my roommate, on the German girls pullout couch, and wondering why it felt like someone was beating my face in with a hammer. I know I stumbled into the bathroom where starred at myself in the mirror for 10 minutes wondering why my eyes wouldn’t open fully and then walked to the kitchen, drank from the sink, and after eating some gravy still out from the night before, I collapsed back onto the couch. From there I some how woke up, folded the sheets, and went back and forth between having to throw up and not having to throw up the entire subway ride home. When I did get home I threw up for three hours and then slept the rest of the day in the bathtub while eating Advils every 20 minutes. Luckily, I got to go to another friends house in Brooklyn Heights on Thursday, where I was able to create some Thanksgiving memories that weren’t washed away in a mixture of cheap champagnes, wines, and bottled beers.
Some unflattering Facebook pictures have helped me piece back to together my night…because I look like a drunk fool in every one of them, I will refrain from posting them here. Instead I will post a very unflattering video.
Daniel Dickey
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Well done Daniel! Looks yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!