Dear Jt,
Wait, I should probably call you by your full name.
Dear douche bag,
If you’re wondering if that’s your highly admired J Crew tie in the picture, it is. If you’re wondering whether you’ll ever see it again, you’re not. See after I woke up from my drunk slumber yesterday, I realized you stole my brand new iPhone charger. I would have wrote you a text messaged calling you a bitch, but my iPhone is dead…hence my frustration with you stealing my charger. Thankfully God likes me more than you and as I started to clean up the mess that is my room I found your stupid little nit tie (you know, the same one Justin Timberlake wore while he was fucking Cameron Diaz).
Well after I wrapped it around my balls and went running I decided I would light it on fire. It burned so nice. How does hearing that make you feel? Are you clenching your teeth in hate as you imagine your trendy accessory burn (I’m laughing in case you were wondering)? What are you going to wear with your pretty little tailored suit now? I guess you won’t be getting all those compliments from the girls that didn’t bother to give me any compliments. Maybe if you’re lucky someone will buy you a nice tie from the Gap for Christmas? Maybe not. Either way you can keep the charger, because you also left your DJ equipment at my apartment and I’m listing it on eBay right now. That should cover the cost of a new charger. Enjoy chewing on that dick.
Your friend since we were 12,
Daniel Dickey
UPDATE: The charger was right where Jt said it was (I forgot I put it there the night before). I’m really sorry about the tie…I’ll take the DJ equipment off eBay now.
DOWNLOAD JATINDER CHANNA’S MIX — MORNING WOOD @
http://www.mediafire.com/?nm0ttmn5lt2
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
whats that mix that jt made? just like, different songs mixed or did he actually make those beats?
nevermind, i answered my own question by listening to it
Yeah…it’s dope!! Gets my dick hard every time.
This is hilarious.