As of recent I had my brain infiltrated by a quick witted wordsmith, that goes by the name Michael Ian Black. To those of you who have not read his recently published book “My Custom Van and 50 Other Mind Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face†you should. It is packed with with non stop comedic punches, that will punch you…in the face. I have been a fan of his since Stella, and think his delivery on a line in Wet Hot American Summer, is BY FAR the funniest line I have EVER heard in any movie, IN MY LIFE. So it’s no doubt after reading his book I wanted to do what most fans would do, stalk him. BUT since I’ve been so busy with moving to New York I decided to write him a letter instead. Here it is…
What should I title this to get you to read it?
Body:
Hello Michael,
or should I say Kevin (If that is your real name)?
I wanted to start this letter/heterosexual love note off by inviting you to my birthday bash. It’s going to be AWESOME. I wanted something better than the normal blah blah themed partied, so I went with a Slave theme. Not sex slaves…real black slaves, genius I know. I convinced Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx to dress up like slaves…which was actually quite easy, they just took off their jewelry. Was the a little wrong to say? Yes. Was it funny? Only God can answer that. But enough about you and back to me.
I am a film maker/â€suspected†serial killer and am in the process of making a documentary about the funniest people in the world. As you probably guessed, most, and when I say most I mean all, of the funniest people in the world have not responded (Some have filed restraining orders)…so it leaves me with you.
Questions you might have…Being that I am a “suspected†serial killer, couldn’t this all be one of my ploys to kill you? Maybe. When I say “Documentary†does that also mean unpaid soft core porn? Probably.
Triple j/k. Double lol. In all serious you are on of my favorite comedians/humans and I have been a fan of yours (stalking you) for at least 3 or 4 weeks. I would love the opportunity to interview you or film you in your sleep.
And just so you know I too am “in the business†here’s a picture of me on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean…
I’m one crazy Pirate!
Daniel Dickey
I’m still waiting in his driveway for a reply.
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