A Letter To Judd Apatow

Judd: HAHA me and Lester tricked you real good!

Another Scene

(Judd waves at Steve with both hands)

Judd: Hey Steve.

Steve: Hello Judd.

Judd: I was wondering if maybe you could sign this book for me?

Steve: Judd I have no hands.

Judd: Oh yeah I’m sure. You could of just said no. You’re the same asshole you were ten years ago.

(Judd walks away smiling. Steve stands there scratching his head…well it’s looks more like he’s just flopping his arm stubs onto the top of his head to relive the itch…he has no success).

    Question? Why do you wear those blue socks to bed now? I thought the black ones looked great (Probably Leslie’s choice…lol you married a Mann. Get it? Leslie Mann! We have the same humor I know). While were on the subject of your wife, would you please tell her to STOP locking the sliding glass door…getting in through the broken skylight is not only a waste of time but it is also terrible on my back. You should of seen me last week (I wish you did). I was in bed all day after climbing through that six times in one night. Question? And you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want (Please do it’s KILLING me). Did you realize I swept up your hair at the salon last time you got your hair cut? I think you did. I glued it to my face. It’s like we are twins.

A Scene

Judd You: Hey I’m Judd Apatow

Judd Me: No, I’m Judd Apatow.

Judd You: Did you glue my hair to your face? Oh my fucking GOD! Who…what’s wrong with you? I’m calling the cops you fucking weirdo.

Judd Me: Judd we’re twins.

    I wrote a joke for you. What is your favorite section in the grocery store? Produce! LOL LOL!! Get it cause your a Producer! I wish you would cum on my face.

    I want you to take this as my official audition to be in your next movie. And Judd I have heard all about the “Casting Couch” and want you to know…what happens on the couch stays in my mouth. Yeah I mean it the dirty way. So dirty. I will personally put this in your mail box now. But first I need to finish eating this bowl of your toenail clippings. I’m sorry I got carried away again.

Lester

Lester’ your balls are on my chin, I’m not happy ;0(Â

BIG LOL you’re probably dieing laughing right now…You better be. I’m watching.

PS: If you could leave tonight’s leftovers in the microwave rather than the fridge I’d really appreciate it. It’s a real pain looking through everything in the fridge. Also I just realized your dog’s name is also Lester…Which makes me wonder. That bowl of water on the kitchen floor that says Lester, how will your dog know that you leave that out for me? Just something to think about.

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Tagged as: 40 year old virgin, celebrity interview, comedy, director, humor, Judd Apatow, Knocked up, penpal, producer, Seth Green, Steve Carell, super bad, will ferrell