10 Signs You Hate One Of Your Co Workers
- While daydreaming at work you often fantasize of them being attacked by a pack of vicious birds. During this visualization you tend to smile and let out an evil laugh.
- Sometimes at night you imagine what it would be like to kick them in the shins…really really hard.
- Whenever they say something to you, in your heads you usually respond with something like, “Shut up! I hate you! I hope lighting strikes you in the face!”
- Whenever you see them drinking a liquid, you google, “tasteless liquid poisons”.
- You sometimes draw a stick figure stabbing another stick figure. Over the one doing the stabbing it says, “me” and on the dead bleeding one it says, “you”.
- You often dream of throwing a water balloon filled with gasoline into their eyes.
- You spread rumors about them in the break room. Such as “Yeah, I walked into the bathroom right after them and there was shit all over the wall and handicap railing. It’s crazy. They even shat in the sink.” or “I heard he/she spent some time in jail for eating babies…but you didn’t hear it from me”.
- Whenever your boss mentions their name you can’t help but to cough or roll your eyes.
- When giving out awards at the holiday staff party and their name is called, you whisper to those around you, “it’s a pity award. Obviously they aren’t friendliest…he/she just got it because the upper management are scared there with be more shitting on the handicap rails”.
- You put ants and caterpillars in their jar of yogurt and purposely mess up all of their paperwork.
These are just 10 signs you hate one of your co workers….there are many more I haven’t the time to list right now. But feel free to add them in the comments section.
Daniel Dickey
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
What if you kill them? I think that’s a sign you dont like them.
Ouch! I hope I’m not that co-worker!
11. When you walk by their cubicle and they aren’t there, you do your very best to squeeze a fart out.
12. When you’re in a meeting, you do an SBD and then give them disgusted looks so that people think they did it.
13. You steal their Swingline stapler and replace it with the cheaper, shittier Office Max store brand stapler.
14. After having stolen said Swingline, you continuously steal the staples out of their shitty stapler.
15. When they’re away from their desk, you change their voicemail to say “Hello, this is (blank), I’m away from my desk right now as I am off having sex with young boys while evading paying my taxes. Please leave your name and number, and I’ll be sure to look you up online, find out where you live, and shit on your lawn. Thanks and have a great day! PSYCH!!! I actually hope you have a fucking horrible day and get raped in an alley somewhere while being called fat and worthless!”
16. You play your Internet Radio obnoxiously loud because you know they can’t stand that “young people” music.
17. You envision yourself strangling them whenever they start talking about their most recent trip to the zoo- specifically the story about the albino alligator. NO. ONE. CARES.
18. You want to pour scalding hot coffee in your eyes every time they speak.
19. You take their keys out of the “secret hiding spot” they think no one knows about and leave them hanging in random office doors.
20. You steal their color-coded sticky notes and assortment of highlighters….not because you want them- just so they will stop explaining their OCD organizational habits to you every chance they get.
21. You go home every day and seriously consider buying rat poison to put in their “delicious hawaiian hazelnut” iced coffee. If I hear one more “MmMmMm” from the other side of that wall, I’m going to punch a knife through it.